The evil i

Dear Eena,

I know it is Daddy’s birthday. I was born with this ability to remember the birthdays of just about everybody who matter to me it’s uncanny…or maybe not. I have been trimming down that list of significant people in my life over the years that I’m down to twenty. I mean unless I have Alzheimer’s, I think I’d be able to remember at least twenty significant dates. Conveniently though, I ran out of prepaid phone load. So that’s that.

I‘m writing to you now, while I reenact inside my head the last conversation we had at Starbuck’s-Trinoma. No, this would not be a continuation of my listen-to-me-I’m-older-and-I-know-what-I’m-talking-about character. I’m actually surprised you didn’t throw those pedantic statements back at my face, preferably with an abundance of the red, ripe and juicy variety. I was so full of myself I still cringe at the thought. I’m sorry about that. I promise not let my evil alter ego (Jessica/Nikki of Heroes fame) get out the next time we meet.

I guess I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate having someone in the family I can really speak with without the fear of coming out as a candidate for self-restraint. God knows I tried with the others. Most of them would end up having this smile on their faces, which is a cross between condescension and downright panic. Fortunately, there’s Kuya Ronnie and your Mom, and from time to time, Archee. But with you, I can be my most free and uncensored self, just like I am with my closest friends. (This being an enviable position for you is still reasonably questionable.) And if only for that, I officially forgive you for temporarily cutting me off from your family tree. We should commemorate this occasion with fireworks or a virgin suicide, whichever is applicable.

So how are things on the academic front? And did you greet your Aunt last Friday? Sorry, I really couldn’t help myself.

More anon. With love always.

Peace by Peace

Dear Anak Tintin,

I went hiking this weekend to a local falls and slipped, painfully slid butt-first on a rock-face, and fell on an abysmal pool of murky water. After which, I was attacked by an invisible swarm of insects, known locally as niknik. We fast forward to now, this sorry little writer itching and aching, polka-dotted pink with Caladryl all over. Of course this was not the first time this happened. I had almost the same experience the last time I hiked to another falls a few months back. But who’s counting?

Somehow, I think this is how you must be feeling right now. You knowingly went to a place with hope that it would be different this time then fell flat on your face, the same rug pulled from under you. Still, I have this feeling that given the chance, we would still go the next time, even if it seems like a spectacularly bad idea. Funny, huh? Painfully so. But we’re stubborn, masochistic, and downright stupid. Either that or we’re just honest enough to accept the fact that we need people. That the choices we make may not be the right ones but come hell or high water, we stand by them. It’s the only way we know how to live. It’s what we are.

And no matter how much I try to rationalize and discuss this to pieces, we’ll do things the same way…always. We’ll take things as they come. Make choices when we need to do so. Take life moment by moment, one small slice of heaven (or hell) at a time.

Love you, nak! Not because you’re perfect, but because you are who you are. And there’s nothing you can do that will make me love you any less.

More anon. With love always.