Backwoods Sortie

I once read that love letters are the campaign promises of the heart (probably a Hallmark card, now that i think about it). Conveniently, it is the campaign season, where you see the beginnings of face collages on any given vertical solid space. And although, I do not intend to make promises (there'd be enough of that in the next couple of weeks to last us until the next election), this blog would perhaps serve as a repository of my love letters to friends who care enough to wonder what happened to me, or at the very least, those curious to know more than what my Friendster profile provides.

I know I have made this promise a long time ago never to start anything with the noxious phrase "To begin with...." But to begin with, I now reside in Gumaca, a bustling town in Quezon, which is the province of my birth.

In a lot of senses, I'm back.

Following now is an excerpt from a journal entry made June 24, 2006:

Back is the proverbial sound byte of my life as a journal keeper. I have lost count of the number of times I left and returned to the page without rhyme or reason. Nothing has changed. Back from almost two months of silence aggravated by transitions: from eventologist to school administrator; urban guy to rural boy; fast-pace marathoner to laid-back freak. Back to Quezon where I was born. Back to teaching (my mom would be proud) at my aunt's school which I helped put up. Back to a simpler lifestyle where rules/superstitions/prejudice are clear-cut. And for all intents and purposes, back in the dark caverns of the closet, only this time I view the world outside with amusement and derision....Back now to two and a half decades later. Scarred, jaded, and tired as hell, I keep on--slower now--still treading towards an interminable buildup to the ultimate finish.

And speaking of back, over the last couple of months, I have turned my back on a lot of things. But the ultimate rejection was when I turned my back on love. After almost four years, Paul and I decided to call it quits. In the end, the distance led to our ruin. Most people say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Unfortunately, a relationship requires more than fondness. Love wasn't there anymore, so we ended it.

Which brings us back to the beginning. This would be a series of love letters to friends and a documentation of sorts of my life here in Quezon. Now, as to the title. It may be read in any number of ways, but knowing how my life usually is, "inaction" instead of "in action" may prove to be more appropriate in most cases.