Blue balled without the pain, a curious absence of feeling, originating from my balls, began to spread slowly until i'm almost fully enveloped by an egg-like shell of numbness. It's wierd. What should have sent me spiralling towards the emotional roller-coaster ride that is the dating scene made me withdraw even more inward. Conscious thoughts may prove otherwise, as my desparate messages begging for a date would undoubtedly atttest. Yet, I just realized that this is just another exercise at going through the motions of wanting something other than what I currently have (or don't have for that mattter). I admit that there has been a lot of contemplation regarding trying out the dating scene again. But yet unfounded fears and compelling motivations have coalesced to form an interminable incubus thereby leaving me bereft of the required energy and gripping desire to do so. What is wrong with me?
I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I'd have to admit that the few days spent getting to know your recent referral had its giddy, I-feel-so-alive moments. But whatever optimism I regained from that phase completely went down the drain after the actual sexual intercourse. Worse, I may have lost my phallic fixation in the process. The vacuum has progressed from emotional to sexual. Should I be alarmed?
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